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Tuesday, June 08, 2004

How 180 Became Something Other Than Half a Circle...Part 1

It happened today. I'm a strange one sometimes. My wife used to think me vain, because she would see me looking into the mirror, almost anytime there was one nearby. I still do. But now she knows it's not vanity I am pursuing in these adventures in reflection. Rather, it is curiosity and awe.

You see, the human body is a strange and wonderful thing to me. It does really weird things if you observe it enough, and since most people would get freaked out if I stared at them for long, usually I am the only test-subject comfortable enough for such an intense observation. So yeah, I look at myself a lot.

Naturally, this has lead to stepping on a scale whenever I see one. I've never owned one myself, but in the past have never shied from stepping on someone else's when using their lavatory. My wife owned one when we got married.

Keeping in mind that from the seventh grade (a loooooong time ago), when I was only about 5'2", until about three years ago (after I had settled into 5'11"), I weighed only 143 pounds. That's right, I never wavered more than a pound either direction. I would think to myself, "How can this be? How strange!" I was the freakish anomaly in the group of friends I grew up with. Then I started a sit down office job, and things changed.....

In six months, I put on 25 pounds. I didn't really think much of it other than, "Huh...so this is how it happens." It would have been wonderful if it had distributed evenly across my rakish frame, but that was not to be. It all settled in my gut. But even this doesn't really bother me. That I now have a more ahem.....manly physique (if one defines manly as no longer looking like a twelve year old) doesn't concern me in the least. And so I went another two year putting on another twelve pounds, to my current (as of today) 180.

But during this most recent fast prescribed by the Church, I noticed something tied to my weight that does concern me, something much more sinister than the motorcycle tire I now carry around with me.

to be continued....
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