Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Last Night and Sleepers
I had an interesting night last night. On the one hand it was quite enjoyable. Cyb and I spent it with two couples, both of whom I have known since Jr. High School (the male portions of them anyway), and both of whom I have been musically involved with at various times in my life. There is a lot of history there.
As with most people you know for any extended period of time, this history makes for some very fun (and funny) reminiscence. I haven't laughed that much in while. But there was this other strange accompanying feeling that I couldn't really place at first.
Anyone see the movie Sleepers with Kevin Bacon, Robert Deniro, Minnie Driver etc.? There were five childhood friends who, after experiencing a severe trauma together, all went their separate ways in life. But something happens that brings them all back together, and at the end of the movie, their all sitting together at a table eating and reminiscing. All these years had passed, and they were just like old times.
A lot of people like that, and to an extent, I do to. But just like in the movie, after that dinner, they all went back to their regular lives. They went their separate ways again, because their lives were already separate, with only the past in common. They had changed since that time in their youth, some for the better, some for the worse. Only by living in the past were they able to enjoy themselves. They were no longer people whose current lives would intertwine short of a severe external event.
And this is how I felt last night with two of them. While Matt (the newly illumined) and Katie (the future catechumen from what I hear)are now going to St. Andrew's and he comes to our men's group on Sunday nights, B and T aren't really a part of our lives anymore. I often lament this fact, but it is reality. B and I have spent many good years together as friends, years I wouldn't give up for anything, but over time we've gone different directions. Neither one of us for the worse, just different. I found myself thinking that the only things we had to talk about were things that neither of us were anymore. It was funny, but it was kind of strange and awkward too.
Their moving to Oregon next month, and it's possible we may never cross paths again. There are people in my life now that, were they to move across the country, I know I would make an attempt to keep in contact with, and likely they with me. We share enough of our current lives together. Most of these are either family or Church relationships.
I'm just thinking in digital format is all. It was fun and strange and sad. The Church has changed me. There was a time when my love for music was pre-eminent in my life, and those relationships that evolved within that sphere were likewise. Now I attempt (rather poorly at times) to live my life within the embrace of the Church, and those relationships found there mean more than any I've had before, and I can no longer enjoy the life I had outside this place.
I don't really know if I'm going anywhere with this, but to say...."Huh.......how weird."
I had an interesting night last night. On the one hand it was quite enjoyable. Cyb and I spent it with two couples, both of whom I have known since Jr. High School (the male portions of them anyway), and both of whom I have been musically involved with at various times in my life. There is a lot of history there.
As with most people you know for any extended period of time, this history makes for some very fun (and funny) reminiscence. I haven't laughed that much in while. But there was this other strange accompanying feeling that I couldn't really place at first.
Anyone see the movie Sleepers with Kevin Bacon, Robert Deniro, Minnie Driver etc.? There were five childhood friends who, after experiencing a severe trauma together, all went their separate ways in life. But something happens that brings them all back together, and at the end of the movie, their all sitting together at a table eating and reminiscing. All these years had passed, and they were just like old times.
A lot of people like that, and to an extent, I do to. But just like in the movie, after that dinner, they all went back to their regular lives. They went their separate ways again, because their lives were already separate, with only the past in common. They had changed since that time in their youth, some for the better, some for the worse. Only by living in the past were they able to enjoy themselves. They were no longer people whose current lives would intertwine short of a severe external event.
And this is how I felt last night with two of them. While Matt (the newly illumined) and Katie (the future catechumen from what I hear)are now going to St. Andrew's and he comes to our men's group on Sunday nights, B and T aren't really a part of our lives anymore. I often lament this fact, but it is reality. B and I have spent many good years together as friends, years I wouldn't give up for anything, but over time we've gone different directions. Neither one of us for the worse, just different. I found myself thinking that the only things we had to talk about were things that neither of us were anymore. It was funny, but it was kind of strange and awkward too.
Their moving to Oregon next month, and it's possible we may never cross paths again. There are people in my life now that, were they to move across the country, I know I would make an attempt to keep in contact with, and likely they with me. We share enough of our current lives together. Most of these are either family or Church relationships.
I'm just thinking in digital format is all. It was fun and strange and sad. The Church has changed me. There was a time when my love for music was pre-eminent in my life, and those relationships that evolved within that sphere were likewise. Now I attempt (rather poorly at times) to live my life within the embrace of the Church, and those relationships found there mean more than any I've had before, and I can no longer enjoy the life I had outside this place.
I don't really know if I'm going anywhere with this, but to say...."Huh.......how weird."
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