Thursday, October 16, 2003
Why I Haven't Been Posting Much Lately
Okay, so it's been a while since I've posted anything besides interviews of/for either myself or someone else. Sorry about that. Life has been kinda hectic over here. I'm shopping for jobs for after I graduate (YAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!) in December. I guess the fourteen year plan has some merit to it after all. But there has been something running around my head lately that I was wondering if I could get some input on from all y'all out there. Been thinking 'bout lotsa things actually, but this one in particular stands out.
Ecumenism........
I know, for some this is a dirty word, for others it's a lifestyle, and still others it a mission. Not dogging anyone here, but I thought I would run this up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes (even if it's the one fingered kind...whatever). Not that I am stating what follows as my absolute belief, I'm just ruminating towards an idea, and hoping some input from out there would move the process along.
In a nutshell, where I'm at, I'm not a big fan of the E word. First let's start with Professional Ecumenists. I can't think of a bigger waste of time and resources. Really, and I'm pretty sure on this one, though very willing to be corrected if need be. But does anyone really think this accomplishes anything? Perhaps it has and I'm just ignorant, but when was the last time some RC and EO theologians or bishops got together, hashed through some stuff, and one side or the other said, "Hmmmm....I never thought of it that way; we change our position." Or how about hopes for ECUSA and either of the two aforementioned camps? Anyone think that's going to happen? Now please keep in mind that I'm only talking about professionals here. I know many of you Orthodox came out of ECUSA, so please understand that at this point I'm not talking about personal witness or whatnot (though we will get there shortly). But overall, I think those who are participating at that level are wasting their talents. At this point the only possibility of something happening anytime soon that I see is with the Coptics, and even there we have a long road to haul still.
Now here is where I may step on some toes, and I promise that if I do, it certainly is not my intention. Please further understand that none of my comments that follow are directed towards anyone in particular; these are just my thoughts, not even on the level of my beliefs, just my thoughts.
Personal Ecumenism...specifically in the blogosphere. I've said it many times in past posts...when I first started this blog, I was full of convert zeal, and this was going to be the place where I was going to convert the world. How naive I was (two thousand visits, and still not a single convert). But I'm ok with that now.
I guess my reasons are many. My first criticism of this idea is that more often than not, things eventually degenerate to the point that they generate more heat than light. I've seen it time and time again. I truly believe that when this happens, we've done a disservice to a) ourselves...we've likely allowed our pride or passions to get the best of us, b) the other party(ies) involved...how likely are they to hear what we have to say at that point, and c) the Church...what kind of impression does this make of Her.
If this were my only criticism, I suppose a case could still be made though. Perhaps some out there really have a gift for keeping things both civil and constructive. I've seen one or two of you do ok there. But here comes my next question. How effective are we really? I'm genuinely and honestly curious here. Has anyone out there ever converted to Orthodoxy because of someone else's blog. I would really like to know if they have. I'm not saying it hasn't happened or it couldn't, so I'm asking, hoping to be corrected. As I said, I'm willing to be wrong.
Here is the fundamental problem I see with this. How many of us want to find out we're wrong. Or how many of us don't care if the other doesn't want to really hear what we're proposing to them. Here's a little personal anecdote. There is someone I really love and cherish, someone that had a profound impact on me, that I used to dialog with. But the last few times we got together, things were very unproductive (not that I am suggesting that productivity is the measure of worth). But a few times ago, I asked this particular person why he continues to have these conversations with me. His response, while extremely loving and gentle, was disheartening. He said, "At the root of it all, I still harbor a hope that you'll come back to Anglicanism". I love him dearly for his response, but there is a certain frustration there too.
What that said to me in effect was, "I'm not hearing a thing you're saying to me, I'm right, and you need to see it." In effect, the same things I thought when I started this blog. But let us turn the coin over and ask ourselves that same question. Are we willing to be wrong, to be corrected? Or are we only coming to the table with our "right answers". Are we willing to come to the table and admit our faults, both personal and corporate. In ecumenism, ironically, it is often easier to admit our personal faults, while either diminishing or outright dismissing our corporate faults. We've found the Church, and we forget what it's like to be on the other side. We forger that we once had serious critiques of Orthodoxy, some of which might even have been valid. And for the record, no I'm not having a crisis of faith here; on the contrary, I'm more firm than ever. I'm just saying if both parties aren't coming to the table willing to present the whole picture, warts and all, it is unlikely we will ever get anywhere.
And so that brings me to what I think (please note the intentional unsurity [sp]) is the real issue. Real personal involvement. I don't go out to other non-Orthodox blogs, chat-rooms...etc, looking for people to dialogue with. Maybe I should, again, perhaps I'm wrong. But I can't imagine anyone I would encounter in the digital world really being that interested in what I have to say. Why? They don't know me. Let that sink in, they don't know us, at all. There is no personal involvement, no real personal investment, and I don't think true conversion ever really happens without personal investment.
I was thinking the other day, and began to lament the fact that I don't really have any personal relationships, any real friendships, with any non-Christians. I really hope that changes someday. I wish my wife and I had friendships with non-Christian couples. I want to invest my life in them. That's where true evangelism happens. In that place where we invest our lives in loving others. That's real hard to do in an online format. Think about it this way. Who of us would marry someone we only knew online? I know...some people do...but does anyone think it's healthy? But that is exactly like what we're trying to get others to do, commit their life to something based on our online dialogue. I wonder how many of us, if we spent the same time being involved in other's lives personally that we do online, would realize better results. I know, it's harder, infinitely harder, but I think it's a hundred times more effective. Again, please note that I'm judging no one here (except perhaps myself). I'm just as guilty as anyone. But just as in online dating, it's too easy to only show others what we want them to see, in hopes we can sucker them in. That's ugly.
And I'm ugly too. Maybe that's why I don't have non-Christian friends. My life's probably not all that attractive to them. I'm not looking for a pity party, I'm just trying to be truthful with myself. I have a hard time working on myself, working on my relationship with Christ and His Church, working at my own salvation, the only work that will really effect the salvation of others. And so I look for the easy road, the cheap road, the wide road that leads to the death of myself and those around me. I do it everyday.
And so we come back to my original question in all of this. Is there really an effective way to participate in Ecumenism. My last communication with the previously mentioned person resulted in him trashing this Church that I love so dearly. This in spite of my expressing my fear that he would do so. I have always told him that my desire in our communication was that we could share ourselves and our relationships with God with each other, invest in each other, and just let what happens happen. I really think that's the only way we'll get anywhere. Until we stop trying to convert each other, and simply try to love them, which it is my opinion can only really be done within the confines of personal relationship, all words are meaningless. And in the online world, that all we have...just words.
Please...I'm really looking for input here. Even if you disagree with me....no, especially if you disagree with me, let me know. I'm really trying to feel this question out.
Okay, so it's been a while since I've posted anything besides interviews of/for either myself or someone else. Sorry about that. Life has been kinda hectic over here. I'm shopping for jobs for after I graduate (YAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!) in December. I guess the fourteen year plan has some merit to it after all. But there has been something running around my head lately that I was wondering if I could get some input on from all y'all out there. Been thinking 'bout lotsa things actually, but this one in particular stands out.
Ecumenism........
I know, for some this is a dirty word, for others it's a lifestyle, and still others it a mission. Not dogging anyone here, but I thought I would run this up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes (even if it's the one fingered kind...whatever). Not that I am stating what follows as my absolute belief, I'm just ruminating towards an idea, and hoping some input from out there would move the process along.
In a nutshell, where I'm at, I'm not a big fan of the E word. First let's start with Professional Ecumenists. I can't think of a bigger waste of time and resources. Really, and I'm pretty sure on this one, though very willing to be corrected if need be. But does anyone really think this accomplishes anything? Perhaps it has and I'm just ignorant, but when was the last time some RC and EO theologians or bishops got together, hashed through some stuff, and one side or the other said, "Hmmmm....I never thought of it that way; we change our position." Or how about hopes for ECUSA and either of the two aforementioned camps? Anyone think that's going to happen? Now please keep in mind that I'm only talking about professionals here. I know many of you Orthodox came out of ECUSA, so please understand that at this point I'm not talking about personal witness or whatnot (though we will get there shortly). But overall, I think those who are participating at that level are wasting their talents. At this point the only possibility of something happening anytime soon that I see is with the Coptics, and even there we have a long road to haul still.
Now here is where I may step on some toes, and I promise that if I do, it certainly is not my intention. Please further understand that none of my comments that follow are directed towards anyone in particular; these are just my thoughts, not even on the level of my beliefs, just my thoughts.
Personal Ecumenism...specifically in the blogosphere. I've said it many times in past posts...when I first started this blog, I was full of convert zeal, and this was going to be the place where I was going to convert the world. How naive I was (two thousand visits, and still not a single convert). But I'm ok with that now.
I guess my reasons are many. My first criticism of this idea is that more often than not, things eventually degenerate to the point that they generate more heat than light. I've seen it time and time again. I truly believe that when this happens, we've done a disservice to a) ourselves...we've likely allowed our pride or passions to get the best of us, b) the other party(ies) involved...how likely are they to hear what we have to say at that point, and c) the Church...what kind of impression does this make of Her.
If this were my only criticism, I suppose a case could still be made though. Perhaps some out there really have a gift for keeping things both civil and constructive. I've seen one or two of you do ok there. But here comes my next question. How effective are we really? I'm genuinely and honestly curious here. Has anyone out there ever converted to Orthodoxy because of someone else's blog. I would really like to know if they have. I'm not saying it hasn't happened or it couldn't, so I'm asking, hoping to be corrected. As I said, I'm willing to be wrong.
Here is the fundamental problem I see with this. How many of us want to find out we're wrong. Or how many of us don't care if the other doesn't want to really hear what we're proposing to them. Here's a little personal anecdote. There is someone I really love and cherish, someone that had a profound impact on me, that I used to dialog with. But the last few times we got together, things were very unproductive (not that I am suggesting that productivity is the measure of worth). But a few times ago, I asked this particular person why he continues to have these conversations with me. His response, while extremely loving and gentle, was disheartening. He said, "At the root of it all, I still harbor a hope that you'll come back to Anglicanism". I love him dearly for his response, but there is a certain frustration there too.
What that said to me in effect was, "I'm not hearing a thing you're saying to me, I'm right, and you need to see it." In effect, the same things I thought when I started this blog. But let us turn the coin over and ask ourselves that same question. Are we willing to be wrong, to be corrected? Or are we only coming to the table with our "right answers". Are we willing to come to the table and admit our faults, both personal and corporate. In ecumenism, ironically, it is often easier to admit our personal faults, while either diminishing or outright dismissing our corporate faults. We've found the Church, and we forget what it's like to be on the other side. We forger that we once had serious critiques of Orthodoxy, some of which might even have been valid. And for the record, no I'm not having a crisis of faith here; on the contrary, I'm more firm than ever. I'm just saying if both parties aren't coming to the table willing to present the whole picture, warts and all, it is unlikely we will ever get anywhere.
And so that brings me to what I think (please note the intentional unsurity [sp]) is the real issue. Real personal involvement. I don't go out to other non-Orthodox blogs, chat-rooms...etc, looking for people to dialogue with. Maybe I should, again, perhaps I'm wrong. But I can't imagine anyone I would encounter in the digital world really being that interested in what I have to say. Why? They don't know me. Let that sink in, they don't know us, at all. There is no personal involvement, no real personal investment, and I don't think true conversion ever really happens without personal investment.
I was thinking the other day, and began to lament the fact that I don't really have any personal relationships, any real friendships, with any non-Christians. I really hope that changes someday. I wish my wife and I had friendships with non-Christian couples. I want to invest my life in them. That's where true evangelism happens. In that place where we invest our lives in loving others. That's real hard to do in an online format. Think about it this way. Who of us would marry someone we only knew online? I know...some people do...but does anyone think it's healthy? But that is exactly like what we're trying to get others to do, commit their life to something based on our online dialogue. I wonder how many of us, if we spent the same time being involved in other's lives personally that we do online, would realize better results. I know, it's harder, infinitely harder, but I think it's a hundred times more effective. Again, please note that I'm judging no one here (except perhaps myself). I'm just as guilty as anyone. But just as in online dating, it's too easy to only show others what we want them to see, in hopes we can sucker them in. That's ugly.
And I'm ugly too. Maybe that's why I don't have non-Christian friends. My life's probably not all that attractive to them. I'm not looking for a pity party, I'm just trying to be truthful with myself. I have a hard time working on myself, working on my relationship with Christ and His Church, working at my own salvation, the only work that will really effect the salvation of others. And so I look for the easy road, the cheap road, the wide road that leads to the death of myself and those around me. I do it everyday.
And so we come back to my original question in all of this. Is there really an effective way to participate in Ecumenism. My last communication with the previously mentioned person resulted in him trashing this Church that I love so dearly. This in spite of my expressing my fear that he would do so. I have always told him that my desire in our communication was that we could share ourselves and our relationships with God with each other, invest in each other, and just let what happens happen. I really think that's the only way we'll get anywhere. Until we stop trying to convert each other, and simply try to love them, which it is my opinion can only really be done within the confines of personal relationship, all words are meaningless. And in the online world, that all we have...just words.
Please...I'm really looking for input here. Even if you disagree with me....no, especially if you disagree with me, let me know. I'm really trying to feel this question out.
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